


something to believe in

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley begins to learn more about Kaidan when she finds him one night and his migraines have caused him to pass out. There's regulations between them and a whole galaxy to fight it seems but there's also something between them that she wants to keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	something to believe in

Ashley wasn’t sure what woke her, if it was the all too eerie silence in the Normandy or just her soldier training kicking in and telling her something was off.

 

Warily she stumbled out into the hallway, a pistol at her side just in case but when she saw that the only thing amiss was Kaidan sitting on the floor she dropped it to race towards him.

 

“Kaidan?” Ashley put a hand on his shoulder, her heart beating fast as she begged God not to have taken Kaidan’s life somehow. He groaned in answer, pained but mercifully alive and she breathed a sigh of relief and hoisted him up, “C’mon LT, let’s get you to Chakwas. I’m sure she’ll love the wakeup call.”

 

Kaidan wasn’t easy to carry, his feet didn’t seem to want to cooperate and she could tell his eyes were all unfocused but Ashley gritted her teeth and dragged him along with her down the hall as best she could. Thankfully Chakwas wasn’t far away and was at her door by the first knock. She took one look at Kaidan and frowned.

 

“Damn L2 implants,” Chakwas swore and then signalled for Ashley to follow her into the medbay where together they got Kaidan put onto a bed.

 

“The implants are doing this?” Ashley asked, tilting her head to look at Kaidan and her hand still rested on his arm in hopes that he could feel some comfort from her. “I thought it was just migraines.”

 

Chakwas huffed in her own amusement, “Clearly Gunnery you’ve never had one.” She continued to chuckle, “His never typically get this bad but every now and then…” She trailed off and began preparing something that Ashley could only guess would help.

 

Kaidan opened his eyes, sweeping over the room and it was like his world was barely in focus. Ashley stayed as still as she could so as not to confuse him even more and kept her hand steady on him, calling his name softly.

 

“Thought I’d have to buy you dinner first to see you in a skirt.” Kaidan mumbled, referring to her pyjamas that her sisters had sent her.

 

“They’re shorts LT,” Ashley snorted, still keeping her voice low, “Try again later.”

 

Kaidan muttered something which could have been agreement but then Chakwas injected him with a sedative and he faded off to sleep.

 

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Chakwas told her, “You can go back to bed.”

 

Ashley hesitated, squeezing Kaidan’s arm though he couldn’t feel it, and headed out of the medbay and back to her room, scooping up her discarded pistol as she did.

 

She couldn’t seem to sleep however, her mind stuck on if Kaidan would be all right or not. She chided herself, thinking that he’d been through this before and been fine and it was nothing. The problem was that she hadn’t known about it before and now she did and it wouldn’t go away.

 

Ashley scowled at the ceiling as though it was to blame and decided to do the one thing she always did in situations she couldn’t control, pray that it would be all right in the end.

 

~~

 

“Well look who’s up and almost looking human again,” Ashley drawled when Kaidan walked into the mess hall, “You could use a shave though.” Her sarcasm couldn’t hide her worry though and she kept glancing at Kaidan to make sure he was all right.

 

Kaidan grimaced and scratched at the start of a beard before he dropped his hand to his side and slipped into the chair across from Ashley. “Sorry if I scared you last night.”

 

“So long as you’re not a husk,” Ashley shrugged and then squinted at him, “All though…”

 

Kaidan rolled his eyes at her, “Funny.”

 

She kicked him lightly under the table and grinned to show she was joking, “So, you really okay then?”

 

“I’ve felt better,” Kaidan admitted, “It usually isn’t that bad.”

 

“Chakwas mentioned that,” Ashley told him and tapped her fingers on the desk, “How bad is it usually?”

 

Kaidan looked taken aback by her question and considered it before he answered, “Painful, but manageable.”

 

“Does anything help?” Ashley asked nodding politely at Tali as she walked by them, typically Tali would have sat down with them but she looked in a rush that morning and Ashley was quietly grateful to just have this moment between her and Kaidan without the rest of the team knowing. She wasn’t sure how much they were aware of what the L2 implants did to their friend or that Kaidan would want them to know, if it was her she sure wouldn’t have.

 

“Quiet,” Kaidan shrugged, “If there is noise then something soft.”

 

Ashley idly stirred the spoon in her coffee that had gone cold, “Come see me next time.” She told Kaidan, the words out of her mouth before she could even really think about them. He raised an eyebrow at her. “Hey I’m not letting you suffer alone.” Ashley defended, crossing her arms, “And that way if someone has to drag your ass to Chakwas like last night you’re good.”

 

“I’ll think about it,” Kaidan said and it ended that conversation and instead Kaidan switched the topic to the upcoming Feros mission.

 

~~

 

It was nearly a month before it happened, there was a sharp rap on Ashley’s door and she put down the gun she had been cleaning to get it. Kaidan stood there, leaning against the wall, his jaw was clenched and Ashley could see the muscles in his neck were taught with pain.

 

Wordlessly she stepped back to let him inside and then pushed Kaidan towards her bed after she shut the door. Once there they arranged themselves so Kaidan’s head was resting in her lap and Ashley was leaning against a wall. She grabbed the book of poetry she’d been reading by her desk and very softly she began to speak, one hand gently gliding through Kaidan’s hair.

 

He relaxed slowly, his breathing becoming more even and the pain in his face tapering until Ashley realized he was asleep. She set the book down and kept her hand still in his hair, careful not to wake Kaidan and she took the time to look over him.

 

They’d been fighting side by side for months now and it wasn’t like Ashley had never noticed how handsome Kaidan was, with the crooked grin he’d shoot at her whenever Shepard ignored diplomacy and charged in, like it was a joke shared between them. In his sleep he looked younger, the lines in his face at ease for once and Ashley wondered if Kaidan was keeping some of the pain he got from the implants to himself.

 

“I’m watching you LT,” Ashley muttered, half joking and half serious, and settled herself down to fall asleep as well.

 

The next time he came to her door was a week later and he looked over her pyjamas with a raised eyebrow, once again she was wearing the ones her sisters had sent her.

 

“I told you before,” Ashley said, still keeping her voice low, “They’re shorts and they’re a gift.”

 

“Maybe next time I’ll bring wine.” Kaidan joked, his grin only lessened by his pain.

 

“In that case maybe next time you’ll get lucky,” Ashley shot back in an equally as teasing voice. They ended up in the same position as last time but this time Ashley had the forethought to stick a pillow behind her head for more comfort.

 

Somewhere between the third and sixth time they began moving so they were both lying down, Kaidan either resting against her shoulder or her stomach. It should have been uncomfortable, being this close to someone, but neither of them had a problem with it or said anything against it.

 

She was surprised however the time he did knock on her door, holding a bottle of wine and shuffling on his feet. He didn’t look like he had a migraine and Ashley was now well versed in Kaidan’s different faces to just know when he was in the slightest bit of pain. This time there was nothing.

 

“I brought the wine,” Kaidan’s mouth twitched upwards, a cautious smile.

 

There were a few things she could say to that, that they were partners on this ship and there was probably regs to worry about or how it could wreck the dynamic.

 

Instead Ashley muttered ‘screw that’ and only got to see the brief confusion on Kaidan’s face before she yanked him forward and into a kiss.

 

“Not what I completely expecting but okay,” Kaidan said when he pulled back and Ashley laughed, leaning up to kiss him again and pulling him into her room. “All though,” His lips quirked upwards in an amused smirk, “Maybe not tonight dear, I have a headache.”

 

“Shut up,” Ashley told him between her laughter, resting her head on his chest and Kaidan’s arm came up to rest on her shoulders. This was why she didn’t care about the regs, she thought, because it would be worth it.

 


End file.
